If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
