you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Houston, we have a squirter
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
