Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
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Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize