Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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