Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
