u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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