Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
