I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
