I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this hospital has no fireball
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
