I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
