After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize