hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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