Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
