i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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