Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
