please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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