If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
