i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am puke
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
