I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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