Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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