Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
