Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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