You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
