you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
