We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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