shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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