Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I look better un-naked...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize