Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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