My sheets look like a crime scene.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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