Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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