That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
