Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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