The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
