ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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