You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize