i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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