The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
