The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
