Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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