Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize