my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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