I wish I could punch you in the face.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
