we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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