you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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