i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
