I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
soo... how was my night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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