I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
