i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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