She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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