I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
