I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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