The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
