It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
