i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
