So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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