Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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