no, he came in my armpit
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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