would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
