I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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