I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
