Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
