we have pet lesbian snakes
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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