I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
