This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
