She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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