Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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