I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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